寫得出色‧寫得清晰 1

下面那一句雖然文法無錯，但是為甚麼還是寫得不好?

Unfortunately, there are a number of people who release their anger by using violence in Hong Kong.

大家知道為甚麼嗎?

其實問題出於in Hong Kong - 到底in Hong Kong是修飾using violence這個行為，還是a number of people這個群體?

考慮到兩者的分別，我們簡單些重寫上一句，先看看如何：

修飾行為：People use violence in Hong Kong.

修飾群體：People in Hong Kong use violence.

我們很明顯可以看到第一句是指有人在香港使用暴力，但沒有指明那是甚麼人；第二句則指明香港人使用暴力，但當然沒有指明任何事發地點。

最後補充：如果我們將句子改為：

Unfortunately, there are a number of people in Hong Kong who release their anger by using violence.

有人或會指出in Hong Kong夾在people及who之間，也會引起不便。

所以，我建議這樣改寫：

Unfortunately, there are a number of Hong Kong people who release their anger by using violence.

或是；

Unfortunately,  a number of Hong Kong people resort to violence in order to vent their anger.

• resort to violence: use violence

• vent their anger: release their anger